Whatever ... I have to be honest. This phrase, usually accompanied with a roll of the eyes and shrug depicting a who cares attitude, bugs me. Somehow it seems irresponsible. It ranks right up there with the “like speak” that is so prevalent in the next generation. Whatever happened to sentence structure and proper grammar?

However, over the past ten days I’ve realized that whatever has a deep theological message.

A week ago my husband John was put in the hospital with an irregular heartbeat. He’d been tired and had flu like symptoms but he thought it was no big deal. He was immediately sent to intensive care where he remained for five days, had to have an emergency external pacemaker attached, and was finally diagnosed with Lyme disease which had infected his heart. There were scary moments for me. I vacillated from “he’s going to die” to “he’ll be alright.” Psalm 91 and Psalm 121 were very comforting.

My sister Fran flew in from Alabama and we had some honest talks. Because she has a son who has had five major brain surgeries due to a seizure disorder, she understood my emotions and fears. Yes, he could die. There are no guarantees. No matter how much we pray, life doesn’t always turn out the way we want. Although I knew that in my head and from life experiences, now I was feeling it at a deeper level.

In moments like these we cry out to God, we plead, we beg, we make promises, and we experience excruciating fear and waves of peace. Ultimately, however, as my sister and I shared, it all comes down to relinquishing ... in a sense saying to God, whatever.   

But, and this is a very big “but,” the one thing we can know for sure as we come to whatever is that whatever happens, He will never leave us or forsake us. Underneath our fears of losing our loved ones (and all of us will experience this) is the greater fear, although perhaps unrecognized, of being forsaken by HIM. And that will never happen. He was forsaken on the cross by God in order that we might never have to experience this. He went through it for us. This was His hell---in our place. Whatever happens to us and to our loved ones, He will be there. He will never ever leave us alone.

And so dear friends, whatever for me has become a reminder of His presence, a presence that nothing whatsoever can take away. It’s guaranteed … 

            “I will never leave you or forsake you.”  (Hebrews 13:5b, Joshua 1:5)

P.S. John is home from the hospital, continuing IV antibiotics and doing very well!